Playing it safe...or daring to risk?

Do you ever feel like God is calling you deeper? Maybe He has purposes for your life but your scared or feel intimidated to pursue a dream or something you feel He has placed on your heart. I know I do.  Everyday. I am just an ordinary, timid girl without a fancy title or degree. I came across an old journal last week and found pages I had written after returning from South Africa. I was so burdened to do something but felt so unqualified. In my journal I wrote that I felt I should just do God a favor, step aside and let someone else serve in my place who would be better qualified. Who was I think I could accomplish very much. And you know what....I can't. Not apart from Christ. What I thought was a form of being humble was actually not believing Jesus to be who He says He is. I believe God has a place for each of us in His story. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. And as Christians we are ALL called. But first we have to surrender our lives to Him and trust His sovereignty. This can be so hard! There have been so many times over the years I have seen God moving then other times life seemed at a standstill. LOTS of waiting. Days that seemed mundane where I felt I should be doing more. But now I see that God was shaping me, molding me, making me. We must often go into the dark room until His image is forged in us. I wouldn't trade that time for the world. He never deserted me and was drawing me closer to Him. The more I draw in closer the more I know that my future is secure in Him.  Everywhere I turn lately he seems to gently keep nudging me to risk, surrender, step out of my comfort zone so that He can replace fear with true faith. Because it isn't really faith unless it looks a little bit like fear.  I love this from Jesus Calling...

Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.

Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign Presence protects you wherever you go.

I am just an ordinary girl who has decided to go for it. It's a bit scary to even sing "Oceans" as a prayer because to have faith without borders is to leave everything in His hands. That means a lot of unknowns. I am as analytical as they come, a control freak and always want a plan. So this is totally opposite my normal character. But what have I got to lose but everything and in exchange gain a new understanding of true depth and faith in a Sovereign God. May He shut and open doors so that I may live out the rest of my life in the way that will most glorify Him. Oh how this is my hearts cry but I struggle to claim it just the same. My human nature wants safety, security, money in the bank, a comfortable life. 

I found a poem two days ago from a journal from high school which hit me like a ton of bricks. It made me think about Paul who was in chains and Joseph who was sold into slavery and ended up in prison but all for the sake of Christ.  Surrendering to Jesus doesn't always mean a bed of roses. For many in the bible it meant giving up comfort, familiarity, family. Am I willing to do just that if it means others may come to know Christ. I feel this is what God keeps asking me just as He did Peter. "Do you love me?" Then feed my sheep. 

Obedience

By George MacDonald

(1824-1905)

I said: “Let me walk in the fields.”

He said: “No, walk in the town.”

I said: “There are no flowers there.”

He said: “No flowers, but a crown.”

I said: “But the skies are black;

There is nothing but noise and din.”

And He wept as He sent me back –

“There is more,” He said; “there is sin.”

I said: “But the air is thick,

And fogs are veiling the sun.”

He answered: “Yet souls are sick,

And souls in the dark undone!”

I said: “I shall miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say.”

He answered: “Choose tonight

If I am to miss you or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given.

He said: “Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem so hard in heaven

To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,

Then set my face to the town;

He said, “My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?”

Then into His hand went mine;

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine,

The path I had feared to see.

Each of us has our own preferred places and situations. So our forms of obedience and resistance will look different. That is the beauty of it because we all have unique callings on our lives. God doesn't need us but He wants us. Our lives are just a vapor and they weren't meant to be lived safe or risk free. Life is not wreckage to be saved out of the world but an investment to be used in the world.  

Ladies...calm down ;)

Just want to clarify a few things from Ryan's previous blog post. We are not moving to Africa tomorrow! As Ryan said, he has felt called to full time ministry for a while now which is why he started school two years ago to complete a BA in Religion. We want to be open to whatever doors God leads us to. My prayer for years has been that I would not sit by idly enjoying my privileges and advantages while the rest of the world suffers, grieves and starves. Not if God is willing to use me to do something about it. Right now we have committed to saying yes to fly over to Ethiopia at the end of the Summer for God to confirm if this is where He wants us to serve full time. We are SO excited about the MYM ministry and all they are doing in Ethiopia with community based orphan care. We want to see the ministry first hand and evaluate Nara's emotions. Ladies you do not need to stress just yet and go looking for a new hairstylist lol!!! If God continues to confirm that this is His plan after our 4-6 week trip, we will then begin to raise funding to be there full time. Raising funding will most likely take months, so either way we are looking at at least another year before we would be moving. Thank you to all who have encouraged us upon hearing about this opportunity and we thank you so very much for partnering in prayer with us. More than anything we just want God to be glorified. This isn't about us. We aren't going to change the world. Jesus will do that. We just want to be obedient and say yes to however our lives can best serve Him.

Trust Without Borders

The title for this post could not be more perfect for the Thomas families current situation. Seriously...let me explain. A few weeks ago Courtney and I rode to Atlanta with our pastor Zach and some youth from church to Passion 2014 conference. My favorite song that weekend was the song "Oceans" by Hillsong United who performed by the way and were awesome. Something about the song just really took a hold of me. My favorite lyrics from the song are the bridge which goes like this:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

These lyrics have been Courtney and I's prayer for at least the last 5 years. We have been on mission trips around the world and have seen the extremely poor, the orphans, and the desperate. We have prayed very specifically over the past few years telling God that we are willing to go wherever he may call us. Two years ago I even started working towards completing a Bachelor's degree in religion because I knew in my heart that God had big plans for our family. We've been praying lately that once I got close to graduating that God would open a door and give us some guidance as to how He would have me serve in full time ministry. I graduate in a few months. After returning from Passion conference and with these lyrics resonating in my mind and heart...Courtney and I received a Facebook message upon returning from the conference that is turning our world upside down.

It was near midnight and a private Facebook message came through on my iPhone. It was titled "Are you moving to Africa?!!!" and it was from our very good friends Trent and Carmen Post who are missionaries with Make Your Mark in Ethiopia. I was obviously intrigued and immediately opened the message. Trent was basically asking our family to pray about moving to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to help design and run the ministry programs for their Make Your Mark House Day Center (Day Center and KKHI) for street kids as well as for the families involved in their Keeping Kids Home Initiative program. Lets just say that I didn't sleep much that night!

The next few weeks following, Courtney and I dedicated ourselves to lots of prayer and Scripture study. After MUCH prayer and confirmations we have decided to see what God has in store for our family in Ethiopia. We feel that God is calling our family to full time mission work in Addis and have committed to a 4-6 week "confirmation/trial run" trip, probably late summer of this year, to confirm this calling on our lives. We will have the opportunity to see first-hand the ministries that we will be involved in with Make Your Mark Ethiopia, as well as a chance to see what it would be like to actually live there and to evaluate Nara's feelings/emotions towards living in her home country again.

Our biggest concern in the whole deal is our daughter Nara. She has lived such a very hard life at such a young age and we aren't sure how she'll react to being back in her home country where we're sure she experienced much tragedy and pain for such a young girl. However, we got a little confirmation on that last night as well. We have been asking Nara questions about the opportunity just to get a feel for how she would react to us going. Last night before dinner Courtney asked who was going to pray. Nara volunteered. She never volunteers at dinner, she always said that she will wait until bedtime prayers. She told Courtney and I to put our hands together and close our eyes. She started. The simplest, most beautiful prayer followed. She said, "Thank you Jesus for my food. Thank you Jesus for the kids in Ethiopia that we're going to help. Amen." Courtney and I both opened our teary eyes and looked at each other. We know that God is already working on sweet Nara's heart and preparing her for what is to come. We have prayed big things over her from the start and Courtney has said from the beginning that she wants Nara to be a little Esther. We even considered Esther as a middle name for Nara. Esther, like Nara, was adopted. I'm sure her life was hard and considering her circumstances she probably felt as if there was no purpose or calling on her life. However, it turns out, as a result of the events that God sovereignly orchestrated in Esther's life, she had the chance to save her people. We want the same for Nara. Before we even brought Nara home we both decided that we did not want to "Americanize" Nara, but to prepare her to one day go back and help the people of Ethiopia. We just didn't realize it would be this soon! 

"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14b

If this strong calling that we are now feeling is confirmed on our trial-run trip, then we will return home to begin the long process of raising financial support to fund our long term stay in Ethiopia. We realize that the journey that we are looking at is not an easy one. We realize that ministry is hard and that its going to be way hard in a third world country. That is why, most of all, we need your prayers and encouragement. We realize that we are under qualified so He will have to do this in and through us. Please be praying that He continues to give us clarity in our decisions and peace in the months leading up to our confirmation trip.

If you would like to check out Make Your Mark Ethiopia, and what they're up to, go to www.mymministries.org

Ryan